In an increasingly digital world, dating apps have become the most common way to meet new people. However, many users make mistakes that can significantly compromise their chances of success. In this article, we’ll explore the most common mistakes people make on dating apps and how to avoid them to increase your chances of finding a compatible partner.
1. Photos that don’t represent who you really are
One of the most serious mistakes is using old photos, heavily edited images, or pictures that don’t represent how you currently look. This can include:
- Photos from more than two years ago
- Excessively filtered or edited images
- Group photos where it’s difficult to identify you
- Only selfies, without showing your full body or style
Solution: Include 4-6 recent and varied photos that show you authentically. A good mix includes: a clear portrait of your face, a full-body photo, an image of you doing something you love, and a social photo. Remember: honesty from the beginning is essential for healthy relationships.
Extra tip: Ask close friends for their opinion on which photos best show your personality and appearance. Sometimes, we’re not the best judges of our own images.
2. Empty profile or generic description
Leaving your bio blank or filling it with generic phrases like “I like traveling and hanging out with friends” doesn’t say anything about who you really are and makes it difficult to start an interesting conversation.
Solution: Create a bio that reflects your personality and specific interests. Instead of saying you like music, mention favorite bands or genres. Share an unusual hobby or passion. Also include what you’re looking for in a relationship, without being too rigid or creating a list of demands.
Example of an effective bio: “Engineer by profession, amateur chef by passion. Always testing new Italian pasta recipes and looking for the best coffee in town. I believe a good conversation accompanied by delicious food is the perfect beginning to any story. Looking for someone who shares the taste for discovering new places and creating memories together.”
3. Boring or invasive initial conversations
Starting with a simple “Hi,” “How are you?” or, at the other extreme, with very personal questions or sexual comments, are common mistakes that can kill the conversation before it even begins.
Solution: Start the conversation by commenting on something specific from the person’s profile. Ask open-ended questions and show genuine interest. A good example would be: “I saw that you like photography. What’s the most interesting place you’ve ever photographed?” Maintain a balance between sharing about yourself and asking questions about the other person.
What to avoid: Extensive questionnaires that feel like a job interview. The conversation should flow naturally and not feel like an interrogation.
4. Responding with excessive delay or bombarding with messages
Both extremes are problematic: taking days to respond shows disinterest, while sending multiple messages without a response can seem desperate or even scary.
Solution: Maintain a natural conversation pace. It’s not necessary to respond instantly, but also don’t leave the person waiting for days. If the other person is taking time to respond, respect their time and avoid sending repeated messages.
Understand the signs: If someone is consistently taking too long to respond or sending short replies without engagement, there’s probably not much interest. Better to focus on other more promising conversations.
5. Dragging conversation on for too long without suggesting a meeting
Many people make the mistake of chatting for weeks or even months without ever suggesting an in-person meeting, which can lead to disinterest or the creation of unrealistic expectations.
Solution: After establishing a good initial connection (usually after a few days of conversation with good chemistry), suggest meeting in a public and casual place, such as a café or happy hour. A good time to propose is when you discover a common interest that can be explored together.
How to suggest naturally: “Since we both love coffee, I know an amazing café downtown that serves exceptional espresso. Would you like to check it out with me next week?”
6. Not clearly defining what you’re looking for
Many users don’t make it clear whether they’re looking for something casual or a serious relationship, which can lead to incompatible expectations and frustration for both.
Solution: Be honest from the beginning about what you’re looking for. This doesn’t mean you need to talk about marriage in the first conversation, but making it clear whether you’re open to a serious relationship or prefer something casual avoids future disappointments.
When to address the subject: This topic can naturally arise in the first conversations, but if it doesn’t, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask casually after a few days of conversation: “What are you currently looking for on dating apps?”
7. Swiping on all profiles without selectivity
Liking or swiping right on virtually all profiles in the hope of getting more matches is not an effective strategy and can reduce your chances in the algorithms of many applications.
Solution: Be selective and only match with profiles that really interest you. Many apps prioritize users who have a more selective match rate and greater engagement in conversations.
Understand the algorithm: Most dating apps use algorithms that favor profiles that receive positive interactions. When you like compatible profiles, you increase your chances of being shown to similar people.
8. Negative behavior or complaints in the profile
Listing what you don’t want or don’t like, or including phrases like “Tired of fake people” or “If you’re X, don’t even like” creates a negative first impression.
Solution: Keep your profile positive and focused on who you are and what you’re looking for, not on what you reject. Positivity is much more attractive and significantly increases your chances.
The impact of negativity: Complaints in your profile can signal that you’re carrying emotional baggage from previous relationships, which drives away potentially interesting partners.
9. Neglecting online safety
Sharing too much personal information early on (such as address, specific workplace, or financial data) can not only compromise your safety but also demonstrate a lack of good judgment.
Solution: Keep sensitive information private until trust is established. For the first meeting, always choose a public place and let a friend know where you’ll be. Consider a video call before the first in-person meeting.
Additional safety tips:
- Search the person’s name on social media to verify consistency
- Trust your instinct if something seems suspicious
- Avoid sharing your personal number before meeting the person – many apps offer calls within the platform itself
- Never send money, even if the story seems convincing
10. Not being yourself
Perhaps the most fundamental mistake is trying to present yourself as someone you’re not, whether exaggerating achievements, pretending to have interests, or hiding important aspects of your personality.
Solution: Authenticity is the key to finding someone compatible. Present yourself as you really are, with your qualities and imperfections. Remember that the goal is not to please everyone, but to find someone who appreciates you genuinely.
The value of authenticity: When you’re authentic from the beginning, you attract people who appreciate you for who you really are, creating a foundation for an honest and lasting relationship.
11. Dismissing potential partners for superficial reasons
Many people judge profiles in a matter of seconds, based only on the first photo or minimal details such as height, profession, or a single interest.
Solution: Give yourself time to evaluate complete profiles before deciding. Sometimes, the person who doesn’t seem to be your “ideal type” at first glance can positively surprise you after a conversation.
Recommended exercise: Try matching with some profiles that you would normally ignore (within reasonable compatibility standards) and see if your perceptions change after exchanging a few messages.
12. Not updating your profile regularly
Many people create a profile and never revisit it, even when they go through significant changes in their life or relationship goals.
Solution: Review your profile every two or three months. Update photos, refine your description, and adjust your preferences as your life evolves. A current and dynamic profile has more chances of attracting compatible matches.
Conclusion
Dating apps can be powerful tools for finding meaningful connections, as long as they are used strategically and authentically. By avoiding these common mistakes, you will not only increase your chances of success but also make the experience more enjoyable and less frustrating.
Remember that finding the right person is often a matter of time and persistence. Even following all the tips, it may take some time until you find someone truly compatible. Maintain a positive attitude and view each interaction as a learning opportunity about yourself and what you really seek in a relationship.
Statistics show that about 40% of current relationships start online, proving that apps can be an effective way to find a partner. With the right strategies and avoiding common mistakes, your chances can increase significantly.
Have you made any of these mistakes? Do you have other tips to share? Leave your comment below!